Episode #195. Adolescence & Authority: What the Netflix Series Gets Right About Our Kids, Nicole Runyon, Psychotherapist, parent coach, Author Free to Fly.

📌 Key Insight:
Modern parenting often prioritises convenience and safety over challenge and growth. But kids need opportunities to struggle, try, fail, and try again to build the emotional muscles they’ll need for life.

“We’re putting 3-year-olds on iPads but not letting them zip up their coats.” – Nicole Runyon

Let’s flip the script—and raise a generation built on connection, competence, and confidence.

In this gripping conversation, we’re joined by Nicole Runyon, LMSW—psychotherapist, parent coach, and author of Free to Fly: The Secret to Fostering Independence in the Next Generation—to unpack the Netflix series Adolescence and the uncomfortable truths it holds up to modern parenting.

Nicole brings over two decades of experience in child and adolescent mental health and a rare ability to help adults step inside the minds of today’s kids. Together, we dive into the deeper layers of Jamie’s story and what it reveals about a world where kids grow up online, alone, and often unseen.

We explore:

• Why this isn’t just a mental health crisis—it’s a crisis of adult power
• How convenience culture is sabotaging childhood
• The dark role of algorithms, and where adult responsibility still lies
• The myth of safety behind closed doors
• Why therapy alone can’t fix what community and connection must
• Practical steps for adults to reclaim authority in a digital world
• And what kids actually need—beyond screens, labels, or diagnoses

Nicole’s insight is both provocative and empowering. If you’re ready for a conversation that moves beyond blame and into bold, practical change—this episode is for you.

Top 5 Foundations for Healthy Brain and Child Development (0–18 years)

1. Attachment and Safety (0–18 months)
   • Prioritise bonding, physical affection, eye contact, and consistent caregiving.
   • Love, hugs, and a safe environment are essential to wire the brain for trust and connection.
2. Will and Authority (18 months–3 years)
   • Respect toddlers’ emerging independence while setting firm boundaries.
   • Let them try things on their own, even if frustrating, and allow space for tantrums. This builds frustration tolerance and emotional regulation.
3. Autonomy and Independence (3–5 years)
   • Encourage self-help skills like dressing, zipping coats, and managing tasks.
   • Let children take risks and experience challenge—don’t over-index on safety.
   • Social-emotional learning and confidence emerge from doing, not avoiding struggle.
4. Confidence and Competence (5–12 years)
   • Confidence grows by overcoming hard things—not from trophies or rewards.
   • Avoid constant praise and incentives; instead, promote perseverance and self-worth through effort and resilience.
5. Identity Development (12–18 years)
   • A secure sense of self is built on the foundation of earlier stages.
   • Without real-world confidence, teens look to social media influencers to tell them who they are.
   • This can lead to distorted identity formation and vulnerability to mental health trends online.

📌 Key Insight:
Modern parenting often prioritises convenience and safety over challenge and growth. But kids need opportunities to struggle, try, fail, and try again to build the emotional muscles they’ll need for life.

“We’re putting 3-year-olds on iPads but not letting them zip up their coats.” –